i’m scared pt 2
Feb. 21st, 2026 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookishghostso… yesterday i walked out in the middle of class, found a teacher to watch them, and broke down crying in the bathroom. fun times. then i went to the counselor and went into sobbing hyperventilating hysterics. i haven’t cried in public since my parents spent 6 hours arguing on a road trip and i walked into a subway and didn’t know what to order and just burst into tears. that was 8 years ago.
every time i think about it i start crying again. the counselor said i should be honest about what happened but i’m not sure i can talk about it without crying. and i can’t cry in front of a bunch of kids, half of which don’t seem to like me. it’s just this class. i don’t know what happened but they’re all secretive and whispery and weird around me. oh good i’m crying again. i literally can’t handle being disliked. i’m literally so weak and sensitive and sad i can’t even let myself be hated by a couple of random 13 year olds. i can’t shut off my empathy. it just doesn’t work this way.
should i leave? how do i leave? i thought things were looking up, and then this happened and i CAN’T STOP CRYING AGHHH
what if i just never come back. no but i have so much stuff in my classroom to pack up :( i guess i learned a lot, but i don’t want to learn any more. i wanted to finish out the year, but if it’s just more of this, then um. no thanks. think i’m good.
oh yeah and i caught a cold and started my period and discovered three new kinds of paperwork i have to fill out the same day. i have once again 77 new essays to grade and a week’s worth of lesson plans to make and less than 48 hours to make all of it happen. i’m. so. tired.
every time i think about it i start crying again. the counselor said i should be honest about what happened but i’m not sure i can talk about it without crying. and i can’t cry in front of a bunch of kids, half of which don’t seem to like me. it’s just this class. i don’t know what happened but they’re all secretive and whispery and weird around me. oh good i’m crying again. i literally can’t handle being disliked. i’m literally so weak and sensitive and sad i can’t even let myself be hated by a couple of random 13 year olds. i can’t shut off my empathy. it just doesn’t work this way.
should i leave? how do i leave? i thought things were looking up, and then this happened and i CAN’T STOP CRYING AGHHH
what if i just never come back. no but i have so much stuff in my classroom to pack up :( i guess i learned a lot, but i don’t want to learn any more. i wanted to finish out the year, but if it’s just more of this, then um. no thanks. think i’m good.
oh yeah and i caught a cold and started my period and discovered three new kinds of paperwork i have to fill out the same day. i have once again 77 new essays to grade and a week’s worth of lesson plans to make and less than 48 hours to make all of it happen. i’m. so. tired.
