bookishghost (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bookishghost) wrote2026-02-13 01:50 pm
bookishghost) wrote2026-02-13 01:50 pm
therapy
that was... weird.
i was all like "i'm a burnt out first year teacher and i'm overwhelmed and confused and idk whether i should stay or whether it will kill me" and she asked me to count exactly how many days i have left of school (i think it's 61 but i may have counted wrong) and then she just asked if i think i can do that. like that's kind of the whole problem. i don't know. but for now, i guess i could. possibly. in theory.
and then she asked me what problems i'm having specifically with teaching and proceeded to go through each and every one and come up with a solution for all of them. and it was... maybe helpful? but i'm also way too anxious and people-pleasing to disagree with her. it wasn't really anything i hadn't already tried. she just sort of reminded me that maybe i could try some of it again, although who knows if it would just magically work the second time.
it's slightly grating to have a non-teacher try to tell you they have just the solution for all your teacher problems. you don't know what it's like in the classroom. i mentioned that it's a bit overwhelming to have to call students out for misbehavior when you have 5 students simultaneously misbehaving, and she said "so you call out all of them! Eddie, Mark, Jenna, Kevin, Joy, what are we doing?" like no ma'am. it doesn't quite work that way. if you did that, all of them would try to give some excuse and it would only waste more time. then i have to debate whether their excuses are valid, and whether to write their name on the board or AHGLFWIJADWA i'm sick of just thinking about it. my head hurts.
anyway then we had like 20 min left in the session and i could tell she was grasping at straws trying to find more things to talk about lmao. she started asking me how i might reward the students and spent a solid 5 minutes repeatedly telling me to THINK and come up with a name for my rewards system. i couldn't figure out what she meant tbh cuz i always just call them tickets and that's fine. i mean, they're literally tickets; why would i call them something else? but she was like "no i was thinking of something like 'praise passes' or 'lucky ducks' or maybe 'golden tickets.'" like okay ma'am. sure. can you stop hounding me about this and end the call already 💀
i wouldn't say it was helpful but i also wouldn't say it was unhelpful. she was just a white lady in her maybe-50's who was clearly not the best fit for me lmao
i was all like "i'm a burnt out first year teacher and i'm overwhelmed and confused and idk whether i should stay or whether it will kill me" and she asked me to count exactly how many days i have left of school (i think it's 61 but i may have counted wrong) and then she just asked if i think i can do that. like that's kind of the whole problem. i don't know. but for now, i guess i could. possibly. in theory.
and then she asked me what problems i'm having specifically with teaching and proceeded to go through each and every one and come up with a solution for all of them. and it was... maybe helpful? but i'm also way too anxious and people-pleasing to disagree with her. it wasn't really anything i hadn't already tried. she just sort of reminded me that maybe i could try some of it again, although who knows if it would just magically work the second time.
it's slightly grating to have a non-teacher try to tell you they have just the solution for all your teacher problems. you don't know what it's like in the classroom. i mentioned that it's a bit overwhelming to have to call students out for misbehavior when you have 5 students simultaneously misbehaving, and she said "so you call out all of them! Eddie, Mark, Jenna, Kevin, Joy, what are we doing?" like no ma'am. it doesn't quite work that way. if you did that, all of them would try to give some excuse and it would only waste more time. then i have to debate whether their excuses are valid, and whether to write their name on the board or AHGLFWIJADWA i'm sick of just thinking about it. my head hurts.
anyway then we had like 20 min left in the session and i could tell she was grasping at straws trying to find more things to talk about lmao. she started asking me how i might reward the students and spent a solid 5 minutes repeatedly telling me to THINK and come up with a name for my rewards system. i couldn't figure out what she meant tbh cuz i always just call them tickets and that's fine. i mean, they're literally tickets; why would i call them something else? but she was like "no i was thinking of something like 'praise passes' or 'lucky ducks' or maybe 'golden tickets.'" like okay ma'am. sure. can you stop hounding me about this and end the call already 💀
i wouldn't say it was helpful but i also wouldn't say it was unhelpful. she was just a white lady in her maybe-50's who was clearly not the best fit for me lmao