Communicate Everything at All Times
Aug. 30th, 2025 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bookishghosti'm in the mood to live in the Present and just Communicate Everything at All Times.
what would happen to my friendship, i wonder, if i were to just tell him everything i was feeling? right now?
truthfully, i don't think he deserves such raw honesty from me anymore. i tried to be honest and tell him i'm struggling, and he actually ignored this text (and several others) in favor of sharing another photo of his cute kittens. this is not helping, my good sir. this only serves to make me sad that i don't have a cat of own yet. he's lucky i'm not who i was two years ago, bitterly jealous of anyone who dared to mention cats in my presence at all. i couldn't even think about them; i was so sad i didn't have one. i can be happy for him now. but i can't be consistently happy for him if he can't show me even an ounce of sympathy when i'm pretty clearly asking for it...
i'm assuming he just doesn't know what to say. but that's no excuse to say nothing at all and hope that we can just gloss over it. i feel neglected and unheard. so maybe i should say that.
i'm the type who bottles things up cuz i don't want to be a nuisance with my Feelings. Feelings make me difficult. i don't want to be difficult. i aim to please. perhaps more than i should.
but i'm not in a very people pleasing mood at this very moment. i'm in the mood to say exactly what i want and then get it. and if he won't give that to me, then maybe he's not the right friend for me. it's a scary thing to do... tell such a raw and honest truth... but it's probably the right thing to do.
what would happen to my friendship, i wonder, if i were to just tell him everything i was feeling? right now?
truthfully, i don't think he deserves such raw honesty from me anymore. i tried to be honest and tell him i'm struggling, and he actually ignored this text (and several others) in favor of sharing another photo of his cute kittens. this is not helping, my good sir. this only serves to make me sad that i don't have a cat of own yet. he's lucky i'm not who i was two years ago, bitterly jealous of anyone who dared to mention cats in my presence at all. i couldn't even think about them; i was so sad i didn't have one. i can be happy for him now. but i can't be consistently happy for him if he can't show me even an ounce of sympathy when i'm pretty clearly asking for it...
i'm assuming he just doesn't know what to say. but that's no excuse to say nothing at all and hope that we can just gloss over it. i feel neglected and unheard. so maybe i should say that.
i'm the type who bottles things up cuz i don't want to be a nuisance with my Feelings. Feelings make me difficult. i don't want to be difficult. i aim to please. perhaps more than i should.
but i'm not in a very people pleasing mood at this very moment. i'm in the mood to say exactly what i want and then get it. and if he won't give that to me, then maybe he's not the right friend for me. it's a scary thing to do... tell such a raw and honest truth... but it's probably the right thing to do.
